Of Breath and Bone (2012)

As the candles yawned,
My world grew darker
‘Til barely a detail remained

Parchment and smoke
Through distant chimes
Moths carried by the breeze

Her finger to my lips,
I am stilled in an instant –
I sip, and am numbed
From here the path winds backwards

At first I see my entering
And then steps in reverse

Descent where I had climbed
To pass where I had fallen

Familiar, all is skewed
And yet I cannot reflect
Beyond my eyelids, I have died
Yet I collapse into youth
Familiar, all is frayed
And yet I cannot abide
Beyond my eyelids, I have died

Days are merging quickly now,
Into years that spiral from my chest
They pass but leave no mark

I swallow forgotten words
To gain what was lost
And lose what was gained
Until neither is real

Behind my head,
her hands hold no weight

I have reached a beginning,
But somehow I do not stop
I fall through the first moment
To find that there is more

As light cascades
Through the hole my body has torn
Already, it is closing

Embedded in fertile plain
Snared in pulp and stone
Confounded being emerges
Surrounded yet alone

Surging growth in vigour
Morbidity at bay
Hale deceives the advent
Of cycles in decay

Winter’s first marrow cracks
Mother bides the spring
Ne’er evade the hand of death
And coursing pain it brings

Matter broken, times expire
Eternity’s division
Peer across the fatal pass
Terminus inition

Ills that never truly mend
Breath which seldom draws in ease
Pulses often miss their step
Somatic ever in disease

Embedded in fallow plain
Consumed by pulp and stone
Confounded being expires
Abandoned and alone

Searching, the abstract colours reason
But I persist to fail in the absence of faith
Cycles bound by throes of attrition
Oft united, yet surely more is lost in time

Beyond fathom, billions firing
Flashes burn and spew prostrate
Wisped monads from crimson puncture
Our bonds are broken, all meaning sundered

Striving for constant reduction
Bursting from the pit beneath
Unyielding yet beyond the grasp
Of scale and form
From nothingness born
Fleetingly

Of sprawl and flame
From nothing it came
Seemingly
The gaps between us tear apart
Impel our end
Layers surge and strip away
Cast into naught

Of matter torn
As eons I mourn
Achingly

Of atoms maimed
As epochs are tamed
Blindingly
In that final absence,
We never were

Void has no resistance
As the giant stretches out
A tipping point’s expansion
Sets astray a solar doubt

Warmth and glare on every crest
For cells compelled to crave
A pulsing sphere forgets its past
To bask in every wave

Dusk comes later with each day,
And morning sooner turns
As shallow waters search the air,
The driest flower burns

Brighter skies are bathing
Ever crowded slopes in light
In all directions creatures dance
Before their final flight

Blinded at the zenith
To fray the dangling thread
Hum the ocean’s fever pitch
To see the flames ahead

Distance loses meaning
As the breath becomes the fire
Gone are fibres; gone are thoughts
…But vapours in the pyre

Instrumental

After one but before the next,
In a tree where new life writhed and flexed
Two birds emerged to hold the world
And grow from feeble talons curled

But fate would see them part that day
As lightning cut their branch away
By winds to distant places sent
Almost as if it all had meant

That though their bloodied wounds would fade,
They’d wonder where their brother lay
For every day from that day on
They’d wait to hear a certain song

In vain, for years, though one was strong
And one was not, for far too long
Until his bones and thoughts were old,
And feathers burnt and lost and cold

The stronger of the two could see
A distant bird, how weak was he
In drawing near but knowing not,
Just who he was, or why, or what

The stronger talons tore at flesh
And stripped away that feathered mess
And all without a sound or cry,
Or even ever knowing why

Yet as the sun began to sink
He seemed to sense, he seemed to think
That soon his brother might appear
From somewhere close, from somewhere near
Convinced this was his brother’s fate,
Above his corpse, he sat… to wait

Silent but distant,
Real but not seen
Here but not happening,
Forever has been

Into this absence,
Two had but strayed
Retracing in circles,
They surrendered, dismayed

Behind them, darkness
Ahead, the unknown
So they stood, uninvited
…But the roots had grown

An error, a tangent
A curious mind
An instant, a lifetime
A secret to find

The dream and the waking
Occurring together
Realising, then
That it mattered not whether

Imagined movements
Near shimmering webs
The nightfall descended
To rest by their heads

Their feet planted firmly
‘Neath four darting eyes
With pupils dilated,
They counted the sighs

Their legs fading into
A curdling moss
Their lungs slowly filling
With decades of loss

That scent from the forest,
Not taking, not giving
They knew only this –
Not buried, not living

Their stagnating veins
Now hidden from view
In skin for the willow
And bone for the dew

The dream and the waking
Ending together
Understanding then
It had not mattered, ever

Fifteen times the leaves had shorn,
Trod by boy and beast
Kith and kin to fare him well
The youngling parted east

The rite was whet and worn with time,
As sons dared risk unseen
Mere passage had convinced the herd,
And none defied routine

Eyes, fixed afar – a trial to come
Now, his suffering – only begun

He journeyed deep into the woods,
And took no drink or food
Desperate to become a man,
‘Fore stupor choked his mood

Carrion gloated at each step,
In dreams the evil milled
Doubting every sickened thought
Depraved against his will
Eyes, turn inwards – observe with hate
Now, this suffering – will not abate

Growing weakness in his gait
He slumped beneath the sun
Each bleeding foot began to weep
Skin and bone was one

Rousing with a fitful gasp
He crawled on tattered knees
And bound for home by moon and star
His trial was complete

Staggers carried him to town
His joy was soon to shed
Kith and kin would greet him not
For each one was dead

The sixteenth leaves began to fall
Indifferent, they withstood
Now, a man with nothing left
He turned back for the wood